


Planting Seeds

by Brynhildr



Series: 40 Days Of Middle Earth [14]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Cabbage Patch Hobbits, Gen, Hobbits grow in gardens, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 17:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13862646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brynhildr/pseuds/Brynhildr
Summary: Why was their hobbit acting so weird?Nori is going to find out!





	Planting Seeds

Hobbits were odd creatures, Nori thought as he followed Bilbo around the rocky ground surrounding the mountain. He had been playing  stratagem with Dwalin in one of the quiet corners of this favorite pub in the mountain when he overheard one of the guards asking if all hobbits collected dirt. 

"Does he really?" He asked Dwalin while the larger dwarf frowned at the playing board. Dwalin grunted in response.

"Bilbo," Nori restated.

Dwalin hummed slowly before moving a piece. Nori knocked over the king piece and just shook his head when Dwalin sputtered.

"I'll have to watch him dirt collecting tomorrow," Nori said to himself. He slapped Dwalin on the shoulder. "Good game. You nearly had a chance this time." He pushed away from the table.  Dwalin just stared down at the pieces again. Be was sure be would win this time.

.....

Out on the mountainside, Nori sat behind a rock that was large enough to hide him when he was seated. Bilbo was walking in circles and muttering to himself. He had been doing so for the past half hour. Every so often he would bend down, pick up a handful of dirt, then either let it fall back onto the ground or stuff it in a little pouch he carried on his hip.

This had been going on for weeks! 

Bilbo wandered back into the mountain a few hours later, his silent shadow following him back to the royal chambers, where Nori didn't care to follow .

What was he doing with all that dirt?

......

"You want me to do what?" Kili asked. Nori sighed and spooned another few roasted potato pieces into his plate.

"I need you to ask Bilbo what he's doing with the dirt." The spy repeated. Kili blinked at him several times.

"Is that some sort of code?" Kili whispered ass he leaned closer to the spymaster. 

"Just eat your potatoes," Nori replied and bit into a rather tasty piece garlic stuffed pork.

......

"Is it important?" Fili asked from being his desk where he was sorting through stacks of scrolls and loose sheets of paper.

"I need to know about the dirt." 

Fili stopped sorting through pages for a moment before rolling his eyes and grabbing a half hidden pen from the desk.

"Talk to Uncle," he replied. "Or Kili. I've got to finish these before tomorrow at noon."

Nori left feeling even more frustrated.

......

"Thorin, tell me about the dirt," Nori said add he slid into the seat recently vacated by Balin at their bi-weekly Company Dinner.

"Well, the tests look rather promising for next year's crop if we till early and mulch heavily. It seems only the top later of the ground was singed or melted. Several of the men from Dale have come to visit us and the say that with good rain fall and extensive pre-planning we'll be able to plant more than just root vegetables and grains."

Nori just sank his head into his hands in despair and politely ignored the rest of Thorin's droning about the benefits of barley verses oats and irrigation systems.

It was a very long meal.

......

"Nori, could I speak to you?" 

Nori turned around, surprised to see Bilbo hovering in the library stacks where Nori had been keeping an eye on his little brother. He hadn't heard the hobbit's approach. He nodded and the hobbit stepped closer, fiddling with something in his pocket. Nori hoped the hobbit wasn't mad about the tomato indecent in the kitchen last week.

"I need to know how safe the balcony terrace garden is from intruders," Bilbo said softly. Nori blinked in shock. Not what he was expecting.

"It should be perfectly safe. I'm sure both Dwalin and Thorin have shown you-"

"Yes, but if you were going to steal something from the garden, would you be able to or would anyone else be able to? I need your professional opinion." Bilbo seemed suddenly very serious.

Nori thought for a but about the construction of the terrace outside the royal chambers, and the rooms beyond.

"The only way I could see any danger is from the sky, so if someone flew by eagle or a small dragon decided to show up, then we would have trouble. Otherwise it is perfectly safe." 

Bilbo smiled, thanked Nori profusely for his help, then slipped away as silently as he had arrived. 

What was going on with their hobbit?

.....  

It all came out during one of the Company Dinners, this time taking place in the royal sitting room instead of the royal dining room. Kili was picking fun of Bilbo's new hobby of knitting blankets (both Ori and Thorin looked like they were about to stab Kili in the foot with a knitting needle) when Bilbo calmly said, "Well I'm sure the baby will need it when they arrive."

The room descended into silence. Everyone looked at Bilbo and then at Thorin. It was Oin week finally spoke.

"Bilbo, males cannot reproduce." The healer said slowly. Bilbo turned to Thorin and raised an eyebrow.

"Did you not tell anybody?" He asked incredulous. When Thorin shook his head, Bilbo threw up his hands. "Hobbits don't have pregnancies the way other races do." He explained. "We are grown from seeds in our gardens. We didn't know if the seed would take in Erebor's climate, so we did a lot of soil testing and attempted to make it as comfortable as possible for the seedling. We just found out a few weeks ago that our seedling took and is growing well. I thought Thorin had already told you all." He glared at Thorin who mumbled something about privacy and not wanting all the world tramping through his bedroom to go visit his child.

"Can we go see?"  Kili asked excitedly.

"Of course, but no touching!" Bilbo admonished. They all followed Bilbo and Thorin through their bedroom chamber and out the small door onto the garden terrace that stretched across the length of the royal chambers. There in the middle of the garden, protected from winds by some flowering shrubs, was a little oak sapling sitting is a high bed mixed full of different soils .

"So that's where the dirt went," Nori mumbled to himself. He was about to go talk to Dwalin about strengthening the security measures around the palace when Kili spoke up.

"So if he is growing underground, can we name him Potato?"

"You are not naming my child after a root vegetable!" Thorin yelled. 

Nori leaned over to Balin who was avoiding the escalating argument.

"Are we sure Kili wasn't dropped on his head when he was a babe?" Nori asked. Balin laughed. 

"No, we are not naming him Kili the Second either!" 

.....

The little boy was born with curly black hair and bright blue eyes, with big hobbit feet and slightly rounded ears. He was adorable and everyone loved him.

They named him Frodo.

Kili called him Potato.

Sadly, it stuck.

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! Another week of stories written. 
> 
> I hope you have enjoyed this! I currently have the Po-ta-toes song stuck in my head. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. 
> 
> Anyway...
> 
> I'll post more starting on Monday!


End file.
